I sleep, therefore I am

It is amazing what 8 hours sleep can do!
The last few days I've been going to bed late as I have my brother and my friend here that I want to spend time with, but last night I ruthlessly said goodnight early. I like to go to bed at 10 (ridiculously early, I know) to get my beauty sleep. My alarm goes off at 6.30, so I have my reasons. When I don't get my sleep I start to go insane and become the crankiest girl in the world. I am fascinated by (and totally jealous of) people that get by on hardly any sleep. They say things like 'i'll sleep when I'm dead!' and I'm thinking 'i'll die if I don't get my sleep'.

feel good no 2

Pink London sky on the way home from work...

feel good no 1

My first feel good:

Mooching around in the park in the fresh autumn air.

feel good

I am turning in to a neurotic wreck of a human. This has been happeing slowly over time but I am realizing it more and more at the moment.

Evidence:

The smallest thing makes me miserable/insanely jealous/furiously angry/hysterically devasted

Anything (negative) that anything says to me becomes, in my mind, 'the truth'. It is never like 'this person thinks I'm stupid' it is always 'I'm stupid!'

Every problem is MY problem. If someone is unhappy, something is wrong I feel it is my responsibility to fix it

I cry, on average, once a day

And the list goes on....,

I truly am starting to feel like I am going mad. This is not the kind of person I want to be, the kind of life I want to lead. I want to be able to enjoy life, to be happy. I always thought I was a happy person, I guess I used to be, but now I am struggling. In a an attempt to self help I am going to start documenting little things that make me feel good. Maybe that way I will start paying attention to all the good things in life, and appreciate them!

drama

Less than one week to go and I can't wait! I can't wait to get away from all this drama, all this crap. The people that are supposed to be closest to me often end up being the people that cause me the most grief... I honestly can't be bothered. It will be so nice to get away, clear my head and stand on my own two feet. My life in London is so tangled up that I constantly end up feeling trapped and looking for a way out. Some time away will do me good!

sunday, busy sunday...

Travel preparations are in full swing! I have started to pack my surprisingly roomy back pack. I thought it would be difficult to pack lightly, but when I'd put all my clothes together it didn't even fill a carrier bag! I'm obviously made for this travelling thing... Meanwhile I'm trying to do lots of washing and get my bedroom in order, as I don't want to leave lots of mess behind for James. My travelling buddy, Hanna, arrived from Sweden yesterday and has now crashed out on the couch. Probably from exhausted from watching running around being efficient.



Hanna's and my back packs, almost ready to go!


Sleeping beauty....

One week from now we'll on our way!!

random

Kevin Costner advertising Turkish airlines:



Dances with wolves meets Doner kebab...

boo hoo!

My best buddy and travelling partner Hanna was supposed to arrive in london tonight but her passport had apparantly been reported stolen and they wouldn't let her on the flight! Poor thing... She now has to apply for a new passport and we both have to pray she gets in time for the Big Trip.... Yikes.

dirrrty...

I'm hanging out in Kensington gardens with the kid, a hot chocolate and some pigeons. Very nice. The kid is running is running around picking up random stuff from the ground and then getting upset when her hands get dirty, she's a funny one. I am looking at my shoes and thinking I really should put them in the wash. They got filthy at notting hill carnival, end of august, and I haven't washed them since! With the shite weather the last few days they are looking worse than ever. I mean I like the 'lived in' look but, come on!

the noise, the pain!

My head feels like it may explode. I don't know why but I have the worst headache i've had for a while. Going to the science museum with the kiddies didn't exactly help... They have a great kids are with water play, sound play etc. But the noise.... The pain! I feel like going straight to bed, but I'm working for another hour and then i've got to pick up a few things in sainsburys before my brother gets to my house. You see he's moving in with us for a while, until he gets his own london pad. It's going to be great as we are finally without weird random flatmates, it'll be strictly family and friends!

Basically it's now me, James, his (sister who is also one of my bff:s), and my brother (who gets on really well with the other two). When he moves out, at the end of the month, another great friend of ours moves in. Bliss.

argh....

Just wrote a ling post about how this Monday isn't so bad after all but it seems my iPhone ate it. I updated, yet it's nowhere to be seen! Argh, I can safely say my monday mood is back to 'crappy' again.

Guess me and the iPhone just had our first domestic.... It better make this up to me big time, or we're over! (read: empty threat)

Monday ain't that bad....

Today we're staying in all day as it's raining outside and the little one has a cold, the last thing she needs is to get soaked. Now that I'm sitting on the couch with a cup of tea my Monday isn't looking so bad after all....

Yesterday we had a lovely Sunday roast in the restaurant we're James is the head chef. It was absolutely delicious, fillet of beef with all the trimmings. Add to that some nice red wine and a selection of desserts, yum! I also had my sis there which was an added bonus! Unfortunately I couldn't sleep until around 2 in the morning, feeling quite tired today. But no rest for the wicked, as I have to go home and clean the flat tonight and do lots of washing. I have both my brother and a friend coming to stay so u need to make the flat look at least decent!

yuk

The weather is horrible and I'm suffering from the Monday blues.... Even though I'm excited about my trip it's becoming more and more real that I'm leaving James behind for 2 months. It's a long time to be apart! It doesn't help that he works constantly and I hardly ever get to spend time with him, just the two of us. I really do hope we get to some time together over the next couple of weeks, we need it.

my sister-Mutya Buena?

My sister is so cool, she just got her lip pierced! She was going to get her top lip pierced but decided to for her lower lip. I'm glad as I think there would gave been in a hint of Mutya Buena otherwise. All she would have needed is some brown lip liner and pale pink lipstick and it would have been spot on....

iPhone blogging

You, dear imaginary reader, can expect much more frequent posts now I have figured out how to blog from my iPhone!

The love between me and my phone just keeps growing stronger and stronger....

going loco

So I'm completely in two minds about blogging right now..... This blog is obviously rather dead. And I want to start fresh. But I like this blog, the name of it etc and I cant decide wether to start an entirely new blog or just delete all the old posts and start again??? Huh..... For now I am going to make a fresh start here, all in english this time. I've realised it's far to confusing to keep switching and also understand that it must be really annoying for a swedish person to read my swedish writing with no dots!! You swedes will know what I mean.... So good bye old blog and hello new blog!

Anywho. So I'm going away on this long trip in little over 2 weeks. Me and my good friend Hanna are flying to Bangkok and from there we hope to travel on through Cambodia, Vietnam, singapore and Malaysia. We'll be gone for 2 months, the longest trip I've ever been on. I am beyond excited. Time is going so fast and I am aware that I have a million and one things to sort out before the trip. So I have bought a notebook. I hope it will be my trusted companion through out the trip, it is already accumulating endless to do lists! So thank god it's Friday, my weekend is already filled with things to organise for the trip.